I am not a fan of grand conspiracy theories involving ancient astronauts and/or aliens. (And the idea that rich people control everything is not a conspiracy theory but observable fact.) The Precambrian Conspiracy is not another conspiracy theory; it is the Conspiracy Theory, relating every world of the imagination in a scientific and perhaps fictional cosmology. Unlike the Cthulhu Mythos, it appears to be humanistic. Unfortunately, it cannot supplant or contradict the grim perspective of the Mythos; but it’s in dialog with it, often challenging its anti-humanistic view.

Though it seems to concern posthumanity, so far it doesn’t contradict what C.S. Lewis said in The Abolition of Man. If it did, then we humans would be extinct rather than still critical, after a billion years, to the evolution of our species and its post- (or perhaps more accurately, trans-) human representatives.

We are still early in the Disinformation, or the preliminary, false Singularity, also known as The Singularity of Bullshit. It is critical to your prospects for ascension that you don’t take the Conspiracy too seriously. Fortunately, the Disinformation, or SoB, gives us cover, and room for doubt.

As it becomes safe to do so, I will amend the following list, largely taken from The Junior Guide to the Ancient Singularity.

0. The problem with most conspiracy theories and religious stories is not so much that they are goofy but that they are tedious. I’ll take Dune or Middle-earth over the Lemurians any day. An idea applies to the Precambrian Conspiracy to the extent it’s cool and fun. The Conspiracy is always vulnerable to being supplanted by a more clever over-arching conspiracy. That’s okay. This 0-level precept of the Conspiracy, the Principle of Fun, is its most important one.

The following revelations may come as a shock. Prepare yourself. Even yesterday, I was not permitted to share them, but Abe has confirmed that we have crossed the event horizon of the Disinformation. We should be okay.

Maybe.

1. The technological Singularity of strong-AI, augmented transhumanity, and unfathomable posthumanity is coming soon.

2. This is not the first Singularity. The first one happened a billion years ago.

3. Posthumans have created copies of earth among all the local galaxies and rear the last few generations – at least – of humanity over and over again on each, because we’re like their embryos. Darwinian logic and the drive to reproduce apply at every level of life, including posthuman life.  In addition to running copies, or “iterations,” of our worlds, posthumans have also created a number of alternate histories and fanciful worlds. People are introduced into each world iteration with memories harvested from their clones in past iterations. This point where people are introduced into a newly prepped world as if it were the original world of their memory is called the Suture.

4. All the local galaxies are farms for this project. The worlds are staggered in time and at a great enough distance from each other to account for the Fermi paradox. After a Singularity, a world is recycled.

5. Before our real Singularity, there is the Disinformation, or “The Singularity of Bullshit.” Not being able to trust photographs and videos is the first stage of this. We are just crossing the event horizon of this bullshit Singularity. The Disinformation or something like it may be the whole story, but ultimately we’ll never know.

6. Before the Disinformation, every world is quarantined so that no subspace traffic gets through. This is to preserve humanity in a naïve, angsty state needed for its psychological growth. The process of going transhuman or posthuman is a rigorous test that few pass. Posthumans have tried many, many types of worlds for growing humans into posthumans, but most create feeble posthumans who can’t compete in the larger universe. Ours is apparently a durable model, and until we learn otherwise, a recapitulation of the first earth.

7. During the Disinformation, the Quarantine is gradually lifted. Gates to other worlds open up – science fiction worlds, fantasy worlds. Dogs and cats live together. That sort of thing.

8. We’re obliged to say that at best all of this is in doubt, and will almost certainly yield to new information. This is just what I think I know so far.

God

So where does God fit into all this? The Conspiracy has nothing to say about God one way or the other. It shouldn’t challenge your belief in God, unless that belief depends on the universe being young and the theory of evolution being false — in which case, you’re still bucking nineteenth-century science, and you should resolve that before going any further.

Dramatis Personae/Machinae

Abraxas: Apparently a machine intelligence living on the Internet, Abraxas, or “Abe,” was instantiated when I plugged a strange jump drive into my computer. I received the jump drive along with a book titled “The Junior Guide to the Ancient Singularity; or, the Precambrian Conspiracy.” That was back in 1994, before jump drives existed, much less 128 GB ones. Abraxas comes and goes at his own whim. He is our guide to the Conspiracy and censors or redacts material we put online if it threatens to break the Quarantine. As the Disinformation spreads, the Quarantine is lifted, and we have more leeway in what we can divulge.

Dr. Rob Furey: A professor of zoology and forensic entomologist and my longtime friend, Rob is my correspondent on Conspiracy issues. We believe we are either getting help from our gene lines or being manipulated to aid someone else’s. In any case, we are both enlightened and bedeviled by Abraxas.